Confession: I haven’t pulled for the Denver Broncos since I lived in Highlands Ranch, Colorado from 1990 to 1994.  And even then, those who know me well might say I didn’t care one way or another about football or any other sport, for that matter.

They wouldn’t be entirely wrong.

But on Saturday, January 14^th, I sat on our couch with my husband, fervently hoping for the miracle.

The miracle didn’t come.  Tom Brady and the New England Patriots soundly beat the Broncos 45-10 without ever breaking a sweat, and the Broncos supernatural Super Bowl hopes faded like smoke rising from a blown out flame.

“NO MIRACLE!” screamed the Huffington Post.  “Pats Slam Broncos,” read the front page of Sports Illustrated dot com.  “Total Domination” glared out across The Boston Herald.  And even in the heart of Tebow Town, the Denver Post admitted that “the Broncos still have a long, long, long way to go.”

For many, Tim Tebow signified something greater than a Super Bowl ring.  He signified hope in something greater than ourselves.

I wonder how many evangelical Christians joined me in a chorus of prayer:

Please, God, I know that this is so trivial.  I know that in the grand scheme of things this game is sub-nothing.  But please give the Broncos this miracle.  Tim will give you the glory, and this will cause so many non-Christians to question their atheism and agnosticism. 

Even while I silently petitioned God for the victory, I knew that I was not praying alongside His will.  But hey, I figured, according to James 4:2, we have not because we ask not; right?

While my heart hoped for the win, my head knew the likely outcome.  My prayer for Mr. Tebow this week has been that He would glorify God anyway.  Even the most lukewarm Christians will thank God after a win.  Are not the most influential individuals the ones who praise Him through the storms (and I am not suggesting that a lost football game is a storm)?  My mind turns to the words of Pastor Matt Chandler a few years ago, upon learning that he had an aggressive form of brain cancer:  “He can heal me.  I believe He will heal me.  But even if He doesn’t, He’s still God, and He’s still good.”

Tebow’s words after the game give us a glimpse into his character and his faith:

 “It still wasn’t a bad day.  It still was a good day, because I got to spend some time before the game with Zack McLeod [a 20-year- old Cambridge native who suffered a traumatic brain injury playing football] and made him smile, and overall when you get to do that, it’s still a positive day.  Sometimes that’s hard to see, but it depends what lens you’re looking through.  I choose to look through those lenses, and I got to make a kid’s day, that’s more important than winning the game.  So, I am proud of that.”

What lens are you looking through?

Hebrews 11:24-26 – It was by faith that Moses, when he grew up, refused to be treated as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter.  He chose to share the oppression of God’s people instead of enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin.  He thought it was better to suffer for the sake of the Messiah than to own the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking ahead to the great reward that God would give him.

It is very easy to get caught up in the cares and concerns of the moment.  But when we trust in Christ for our salvation, He gives us a new set of
lenses.  He enables us to, through His Spirit, view life through the lens of eternity.

What lens are you looking through?

A temporal lens views a lost football game as a crushing defeat.  An eternal lens sees it for what it is: a momentary disappointment that means little in the grand scheme of things.  A temporal lens sees the position of quarterback in the NFL as an opportunity for fame and fortune.  An eternal lens calls it an opportunity to shine for Christ and bring hope to the less fortunate.

The successful see life through a temporal lens.  They live, they succeed, and they die.  But the Great view life through an eternal lens.  They live, they love, and when they leave, they leave a legacy.

Tim Tebow is not the most successful quarterback in the NFL.  But to 20 year old Zack McLeod and many, many others, he is certainly the greatest.

John 12:46 –“ I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in me will no longer remain in the darkness.”

Dear Heavenly Father, You have stationed Your people in every occupation.  Thank you for their witness, and their willingness to shine Your light
in the face of scorn.  Thank you for those around the world willing to suffer even the worst persecution for the sake of Your Great Name.  We pray for their strength, and that they would feel You near.  Let them be an example to us, Lord.  Inspire us to be bold for You!  Let us never forget the magnitude of the cross, and what it means to be a Christ-follower.  We love You so much Lord, and we pray these things in the beautiful name of Jesus Christ.  Amen.

Aside from his God and his family, my husband lives for one thing and one thing alone.  Football season.

From February to August, Mike tracks scouting and recruiting.  He eagerly anticipates training camp, and he counts down the days to the first preseason game.  While everyone else watches dismissively, Mike is eyeing and evaluating the new players and the play calling.  The first home game of the season is treated with the same reverence as Christmas and Easter.

To avoid a widow-like state during these months, I have allowed my husband to educate me on the finer points of  football, and even found myself becoming a bona fide fan.

One thing that delights me beyond measure is the theology that I’ve discovered along the way.  Football provides some marvelous Biblical analogies.  Allow me to present one now.

Consider the challenge flag.

If the coach disagrees with a referee’s ruling on the field, he can throw the challenge flag.  The referees will review the footage from every possible angle, and if they agree with the coach, they reverse their call.  If they disagree, the challenging team is penalized with a time-out.

Job 1:6-7 – One day the angels came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan the Accuser came with them.
“Where have you come from?” the LORD asked Satan.  And Satan answered the LORD, “I have been going back and forth across the earth, watching everything that’s going on.”

Throughout the Bible, Satan has many names.  One that rings particularly true for me is “The Accuser.”  The Accuser and I have a history.

“Why did you eat that?  You have no self-control!”

“You’re an idiot.  You’re ugly.  No one will ever love you.”

“You don’t have the education to teach or speak.  Who do you think you are?  You’ll never be anything for God.”

“How could you do that?  How could you say something like that?”

We will always struggle with self-doubt. We will always struggle with sin.  We will make the wrong choice and say the wrong thing.  Be comforted by the words of David:  You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD (Psalm 139:4).

God knew the mistakes I would make before I made them.  God knows where and when we will fall short.  He knows our sins of omission and commission.  And because Jesus paid the penalty, every moment is another chance to wipe our slate clean.

Romans 3:22-24 – We are made right in God’s sight when we trust in Jesus Christ to take away our sins.  And we all can be saved in this same way, no matter who we are or what we have done.  For all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious standard.  Yet now God in His gracious kindness declares us not guilty.  He has freed us by taking away our sins.

We will always struggle with sin.  We will always struggle with pride.  We will put things before God.  We will make mistakes, and we will choose to go our own way.  For all have sinned; all fall short of God’s glorious standard.  But when we turn back to God, confess and repent of our sin, God declares us not guilty.

When Satan throws the challenge flag, remember that you have a choice.  You don’t have to watch the instant replay.

You don’t have to relive your sins and mistakes.  The enemy would have you replay the incident over and over in your mind; analyzing it from every angle, filling your head with self-defeating commentary.  Here is a truth the Accuser does not want you to know: you have the power to choose your thoughts.

2 Corinthians 10:5 – We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

And how do we do this?  With the same divine power that God used to raise Christ from the grave.

2 Corinthians 10:4 – We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments.

The next time the Accuser throws the challenge flag on your past, hear the words of the Great Referee: “The Ruling on the field stands.  The challenging team with be charged with one time-out.”

Isaiah 43:13 – “From eternity to eternity I am God.  No one can oppose what I do.  No one can reverse my actions.”

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You so much for Your Word.  Thank You so much for the saving grace of the cross. Please God, help us to shut off the instant replay in our minds.  Give us holy earplugs that block out the accusations of the enemy, and help us to better hear Your voice.  When the accusing thoughts hit us from every angle, help us to take them captive for Christ.  Convict us to confess what we need to confess and repent of that which needs repenting so that we can silence his accusations.  Help us to cling to Your Son and tap into the mighty power of the Holy Spirit.  We love You so much, God.  It is in the beautiful name of Jesus Christ that we pray.  Amen.

I am so selfish.

Really, I am.  And don’t try to convince me I’m not.  I know my heart, and it’s selfish.

Allow me to explain.

My Sunday school class has adopted a family from Sunlight Missionary Baptist Church in south Dallas.  Sunlight is a small but Spirit filled building, complete with bars on the windows and doors.  Visit on a summer day and you’ll notice the absence of an air conditioner.  But every Sunday morning the congregation faithfully gathers to hear the hope and encouragement of Christ given by Pastor Ed.

As a Christmas mission, my class gathered funds and donations to bring the faithful patrons bags full of gifts and necessities.  Last Saturday, several of them (not me) caravanned south to deliver presents and packages to families in need.  Unfortunately, one little boy was left out.

Moved with compassion, my dear friend Starla led the charge to put together a goody-bag for the devastated child.

Yesterday, I, along with my children and two members of the class (we’ll call them Mike and Kathy), delivered the gifts.

I almost didn’t go.

Hosea 6:3 – “Oh, that we might know the LORD!  Let us press on to know Him!  Then He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.”

An e-mail went out a few days ago calling all-hands-on-deck to help pass out gifts.  I’m working this week at 90.9 KCBI, filling in for morning show co-host Terri Barrett.  But In spite of my schedule, I was available to go.  I knew I should go.  I knew it would be good to take my kids.  I just didn’t want to go.

I waited a few hours, ignoring the nagging sensation in my spirit.  Then I sent the following response: “What time are you leaving?”  Mike responded quickly, letting me know that others had signed on, and while I was more than welcome to help, there was no longer a sense of urgency.

The next morning I opened my inbox to the following email from another member of the class:  “Rebecca, if you can go, it would be an incredible blessing for you and your kids.”  The note was signed “Rob,” but I knew better.  That was a direct word from God.

That evening I still hadn’t responded, and the nudge from the Holy Spirit was growing in strength and intensity.  The next morning, the day of delivery, I sent another e-mail after getting off the air.  “Hi Mike, do you have it covered?”  It’s probably too late by now, I thought to myself.  A minute later, my phone chirped cheerfully, indicating a new message in my in-box.

“Not too late and we could certainly use the help,” Mike wrote.  At this point I started to connive.  After all, I really wanted to go to the gym, and this would be my last chance before the holiday feasting ensued.

As I began to plot and plan, formulating excuses in my mind, the Holy Spirit interrupted me with two simple but convicting words:  “Choose ME.”

I sighed, shaking my head.  God was putting this family on my heart.  He showed me that He would not only bless and minister to this family, but He would bless me and my children if we obeyed.  Okay, Lord, I silently prayed.  And please forgive my selfishness.

Deuteronomy 30:20 – Choose to love the LORD your God and to obey Him and commit yourself to Him, for He is your life.  Then you will live long in the land the LORD swore to give your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

We pulled into the apartment complex, loaded down with packages.  My children and I were among the first to enter, and what I saw tore at my very soul.

The apartment couldn’t have been more than seven or eight hundred square feet, and it housed four children and five adults.  There were no beds.  No furniture, save two small couches that scarcely fit in the living room.  Lying on one couch was a small woman who’d had both legs amputated.

We filled that room with presents, supplies, and a Christmas tree.  When we were finished, I walked over to the bed-ridden woman and knelt by her side.  We chatted for a few minutes, and then we prayed.  I held her hands and kissed her cheek.  When I asked her how I could continue to pray for her, she started to cry.  Barely able to get the words out, she whispered that she needed a wheelchair so she could go to church more often.  The one she had didn’t work, and she wanted to go to the Christmas service.

Isaiah 40:1 – “Comfort, comfort my people,” says your God.

All week long at 90.9 we’ve been asking listeners to call and share their Christmas miracles.  And save one or two stories, all of the miracles have been through acts of human kindness and generosity.  You be the miracle, whispered the Spirit.  You be My hands and feet.

The next morning I shared the experience with Jim Wilson, host of the morning show.  The support that followed from the listening audience nearly brought me to tears.  A generous dentist in the area called in wanting to help.  A woman offered a hundred dollars.  Call after call, until a man named Bruce offered up a wheelchair that belonged to a friend that had recently passed.

“I’ve tried to sell it on Craig’s List and E-bay,” he said.  “Now I know why it didn’t sell.”

Deuteronomy 31:19 – “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses.  I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make.  Oh, that you would choose life, that you and your descendants might live!”

I almost chose the gym.  I went to Sunlight begrudgingly, even sullenly; more out of guilt than love.  Looking around at what God has blessed my family with and comparing it to that precious family’s conditions, I want to hang my head in shame.  God has forgiven me, but I can’t forget how close I came to missing a chain reaction of blessings.

Had I ignored the nudge of the Holy Spirit I would’ve missed the look on the faces of the children as they opened their gifts, not to mention the look on the faces of my 4 and 5 year olds as they watched.  I would’ve missed the 45 minute long conversation we had driving home on the true meaning of Christmas.  I would’ve lost the opportunity to meet Pastor Ed.  I would’ve missed the tremendous honor of praying with and over the sweet lady on the couch, and I would not have learned of her need.

Had I chosen the gym, I would’ve robbed many listeners of the chance to bless another family in need, and I would’ve denied Bruce the awesome display of God’s hand at work even in the attempted sale of the wheelchair.

There is nothing special or remarkable about me.  God doesn’t speak to me any more frequently than He speaks to you.  But in order to hear His voice we must remain tuned in to the Holy Spirit.  1 Thessalonians 5:19 says, “Do not stifle the Holy Spirit.”  We stifle the Spirit when we ignore the nudges and whispers.  And we can only ignore them for so long, until they grow more and more faint.

Is the Holy Spirit nudging you through my confession?  Pay attention.  Jesus has no physical body on this earth.  Therefore, we must lend Him ours.  This Christmas, you be the miracle.

Dear Heavenly Father, today we pray for the congregation and pastor of Sunlight Missionary Baptist Church.  Please wrap Your Spirit around them.  Bring comfort where they need comfort, healing where they need healing, and conviction where they need change.  Let them experience an outpouring of Your love like never before.  The common expression in the eyes I gazed into was hopelessness.  Move your people to bring them hope.  Help us to follow Your nudge.  Do not allow us to stifle the Spirit.  Cut through our noisy lives into our hearts, and help us to be Your servants.  We love You, God.  We thank You for Your Son and we eagerly await His return.  It is in the beautiful name of Jesus Christ that we pray.  Amen.

My big, crazy family takes a vacation together every summer, and it’s something that I look forward to all year. Mike and I, along with Caitlyn and Nick, my parents, my two sisters, their two husbands and their collective five children rent a house that sits on picturesque Grand Lake o’ the Cherokees in Jay, Oklahoma. My sweet grandmother has joined us twice, putting the total number of bodies in the house at one time at seventeen.

The house is a stone’s throw from the marina, so at our disposal are jet skis, paddle boats, pontoons, tubes, and a speed boat. This morning, as I was trying to patiently wait on the Lord, I was reminded of the speed boat.

I first learned to waterski in college. I’ve only done it a handful of times since then, but it’s like riding a bike. Once you get the feel for it, you have it.

As I was trying to teach some family members the sport last summer, I realized how counter-intuitive waterskiing really is. Everything in you wants to pull yourself up, but in order to skip along the surface of the lake you have to let the boat pull you. You are an active participant in the activity, but it’s not your strength that you are skiing in, it’s the boat’s.

About a week ago I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I was thinking about all the deadlines I have coming up, not to mention the Christmas shopping that I’ve barely started. I have commitments at church, commitments to family, commitments to my part time job at 90.9 KCBI. “I should just commit myself,” I grumbled under my breath. I looked around at my messy bathroom and the counters that needed cleaning, and looked up toward the ceiling. “Are you going to show up?” I asked the Lord. “I can’t do this on my own!”
I felt the warmth of the Holy Spirit surround me. That’s right, He whispered, you can’t. So stop trying so hard.

 “You do what you can do, and God will do what you can’t.” ~ Joyce Meyers

One of the biggest mistakes made when learning to waterski is trying too hard. You do your part, and let the boat do the rest. You put on the life vest and the waterskies. You jump out of the water and cling to the rope. You put your feet in the proper position, and then you wait. The driver is carefully watching you, making sure you are ready and the conditions are right. Then, at the perfect time, he guns the engine. And all you have to do hold on tight and follow the boat.

God has called you for a specific purpose. He has gifted you both spiritually and physically for it. He doesn’t need your expertise. He isn’t impressed by your resume. There isn’t an award, a diploma or an accolade that qualifies you to do the work He has prepared for you. God does His mightiest work through willing vessels and obedient hearts. Do your part. Put on the vest and the waterskies – be prepared. Get your feet in the proper position – be alert. Listen carefully for the voice of the driver. Cling to that rope – Jesus, the only way to the Father. And your Heavenly Father, who watches you carefully every moment, will act at the perfect time. And then, just hang on.

Philippians 4:13 – For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Dear Heavenly Father, it is so difficult to wait on You. Please show us how to properly wait. Please convict us to start every day quietly with You. When we read our Bibles, give us wisdom and understanding so that we might know Your will for our lives. Please help us to seek You in all of our decisions. Please help us to hear You clearly. Please remind us to follow Your peace. Please remind us that You often use anxiety as a way to keep us from paths You don’t want us to go down. God, help us to cling to the rope of Christ. When waterskiing, if we pull on the rope, we fall. In life, when we try to do things in our own strength, we burn out or fail. Help us to lean on Your strength, and not run out ahead of You. We love You, God. We thank You for Your Son, our Savior. We thank You for Your Holy Spirit, our Comforter and Counselor. It is in the beautiful name of Jesus that we pray. Amen.

I had a powerful experience this morning.  After two nights of going to bed at 8pm, my eyes popped wide open at 4:27.  After debating for a moment as to whether or not to leave the comfort of my bed, I carefully extracted myself and went downstairs.

Candles lit, Bible in hand, journal open and pen at the ready, I was eager to spend some quality time with the Lord when He stopped me in my tracks.

Indulge me to back up a bit, if I may.

To my delight, I’ve had several projects fall in my lap at the same time.  I’m leading a women’s retreat next month, and for the first time, teaching a Bible study authored by yours truly at a church other than my own.  After that, several speaking engagements, along with a semi-local conference tour and two more retreats.

I’ve been researching material around the clock and writing anytime I can squeeze a moment in between wife and mom priorities.  As a result, strangely, I’ve found myself drifting from God.

It’s interesting the way you can study God.  I believe we see evidence of Him everywhere – in nature and in others. You can read about Him, ponder Him, analyze Him, write about Him, and talk about Him.  But unless I am coming to Him on a daily, sometimes hourly basis for guidance, comfort, and companionship, I am not filled by Him.

Here in the Bible belt, it’s a popular prayer to be “filled by the Holy Spirit.”  “Fill us with Your Holy Spirit, O God.”  I hear it every Sunday in church, and I pray it every time I bend the knee to my Father. This morning, God showed me that I am going about it the wrong way.

Luke 6:46 – Afterward He went up into the hills by Himself to pray.

Imagine you are on a road trip, and the needle on your gas gauge is resting in the red.  You know you have but a mile or two before running out of fuel.  Meanwhile, every exit has a gas station.  “Fill me, O Lord,” you cry out, zipping along at 70 miles per hour.  I’m reminded of the words spoken by Jesus to Martha.  “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things,” He says, while she bustles around, nearly bumping into her sister Mary as she sits at Jesus’ feet.  The New Living Translation phrases it this way: “My dear Martha, you are so upset over all these details!”

We have a great tendency to get consumed by the details of daily life. It is so easy for me to lose myself in schedules, sports, errands, and other things.  But Jesus advises us not to miss the forest for the trees.  “There is only one thing worth being concerned about.  Mary has discovered it – and I won’t take it away from her (NLT Luke 10:41-42).”

This morning as I sat down to journal, I started as I normally do: Praising God for who He is; thanking Him for all His gifts; asking forgiveness for my sins and direction for my day.  And then I had the strongest urge to stop.  It was though God was saying, “I know what you need before you do.  Now put your pen down and rest in My Presence.”

I closed my eyes and did my best to empty my mind and listen.  After a few moments, a feeling of warmth crept over me. As I sat there, breathing slowly and evenly, I felt an overwhelming sensation of love, acceptance, and approval. At that moment, I felt completely and totally filled.

Are you spiritually running on empty?

We cannot expect the Spirit to fill us when we refuse to stop down and be filled.  We cannot hope for His guidance if we are unwilling to sit at His feet and listen. Jesus tells us to “seek first the Kingdom of God and its righteousness,”and all of these other things will be added unto us (Matthew 6:33).  He’s waiting for a chance to prove it to you.

Luke 10:41-42 – “There is only one thing worth being concerned about.  Mary has discovered it – and I won’t take it away from her.”

Heavenly Father, we love You so much.  Please forgive us for cramming our schedules with many things and neglecting the most important thing – daily quiet time with You.  Please help us to hear You when You beckon to us.  Please help us to prioritize and manage our time in a way that brings honor and glory to You.  We thank You for Your grace and mercy.  We thank You for Jesus and the mighty work on the cross.  Father, we do ask that You would fill us as often as we come to You.  Help us to empty ourselves of “self” so that we could be used by You for Your good purposes.  Give us wisdom, compassion, mercy, kindness, and grace.  Help us to be more like Your Son.  It is in the blessed name of Jesus that we pray, amen.

Recently, a dear friend came to me with a prayer request.  “I’m praying for self-discipline,” she wrote.  “It’s the area that is holding me back the most right now, whether it’s food, Bible study, money, or my tongue.”   I’ve petitioned God for the same thing many, many times.

As I started to pray, God put a picture in my mind.  My son, about three years old, trying to eat applesauce.  My husband and I pleading with him to use his spoon.  Nick, who hates being messy, howling in frustration.  He wanted the applesauce, refused the spoon, and was angry that we wouldn’t help him.  All he had to do was pick up the spoon.  The spoon was there.  He had the ability.  He simply refused.

I smiled to myself, remembering the scenario.  “Is that what I look like to you, God?” I silently wondered. 

“…power, love, and self-discipline.”

God has given us the tools we need to live an obedient life.  We need only to pick them up.

The struggle for self-discipline is a common one.  I know some wonderful, God-fearing individuals who do mighty things in the name of Christ, yet when it comes to self-discipline, they let the enemy tap dance all over them.  I have felt like Satan’s personal dance floor more times than I care to count!

Romans 8:37 – No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

The New Living Translation phrases the verse this way: No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.  The Greek word transliterated to “more than conquerors” is hupernikaó (hoop-er-nik-ah’-o if you’d like to take a crack at pronouncing it).  The word occurs only once in the Bible, in Romans 8:37.  It means to prevail mightily, describing a super-conqueror who “is completely and overwhelmingly victorious (Strong’s notes courtesy of biblos.cc).”

The word for power used in 2 Timothy 1:7 is particularly interesting.  It is dunamis (doo’-nam-is), and means power, might, and marvelous works.  According to biblos.cc, it is “power to achieve by applying the Lord’s inherent abilities, or power through God’s ability.”  The word dunamis is the derivative of the English word dynamite. 

The power flowing through us when we call upon the LORD and pray according to His will is like dynamite.  Through this power, we have the ability to not only defeat our bad habits, but to demolish them, leaving scarcely a trace of their existence.

Food has always been a struggle for me, and my time of greatest temptation is right before I go to bed.  It’s almost as if clicking off the television clicks on my appetite.  Last night, I tried something.  Remembering the picture God gave me of my son, I picked up a spoon and carried it upstairs.

2 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

We are more than conquerors.  We have been handed the victory.  Let’s pick up our spoons and start acting like it.

Dear Heavenly Father, self-discipline is such a hard thing to exercise.  So many of us have prayed for this so many times to no avail.  Show us what to do, Lord.  We want to be obedient to You!  We want to be good stewards of our bodies; we want to be faithful with our time, talents, and finances.  Remind us to call upon Your mighty power, and convict us to pick up the tools that Scripture promises we have at our fingertips.  Do a miraculous work on our hearts so that we crave You more than food, more than things, more than anything.  Cleanse us from inside out, Lord.  We love You so much and we thank You in advance.  It’s in the precious name of Jesus that we pray.  Amen.

As a Christian, are you all in, or do you do life with a side of Jesus every now and then?

There have been three times in my life that I felt the Holy Spirit whisper those words: “All in.”

The first was in 2000, when I made the decision to start tithing my income.  I was sitting in a single’s Sunday school class.  The day’s topic was giving.  The room collectively groaned while casting knowing glances at each other. 

The teaching pastor strode confidently in the room, brimming over with passion and enthusiasm.  He talked about his life, and how blessed he was.  He had left the corporate world years ago to attend seminary and give his life to the Lord.  He then told us about his four sons, each diagnosed with a rare muscular disorder that would likely claim their lives around the age of 18.

He calmly told the room that after the initial two diagnoses, he had cried out to the Lord, questioning why He’d called him out of a corporate salary with cushy insurance.  He held back his tithes for a while.  But then God spoke to him.  “All in,” He said.  “I gave you My Son.  Now trust me with yours.”

Out of nowhere someone gave them a van, fully equipped to carry his boys and their wheelchairs.  Medical bills were anonymously paid.  Friends brought meals and gave clothes.

“Friends,” said the pastor softly, “some of you say you can’t afford to tithe.  I can’t afford not to.”  And just like that, I was all in.

The second time I heard those words was in 2009, when God called me to stop drinking.  I got drunk for the first time at 13.  By the time I graduated high school I needed alcohol to have fun.  By the time I graduated college I just needed alcohol.  At age 35 He spoke:  “All in,” He whispered.  “You either follow me or you don’t.”

Most recently my husband and I heard those words together, when God put it on our hearts for me to leave my job as a morning show co-host in radio.  We went from two incomes to one in an economy rivaling the Great Depression.  Every time we tried to run numbers and make a budget we came away frustrated and discouraged.  Finally, Mike had enough.  “You know what?” he said, “we won’t know if we can do it until we just do it.  We’re either going to trust God or we’re not.”

“If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it.  But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life.”

In giving up that income we’ve gained a newfound faith and trust in the Lord.  We have no Plan B.  There is no safety net.  Jesus called us to walk out onto the ledge, and we stepped out in faith.  We’re trusting Him with my ministry as well (LSS Ministries), and every penny we get from donations or speaking engagements goes toward others in need or charities that fight hunger. 

If you want lasting peace and fullness of joy in this life, then you’ve got to be all in.  Because, dear friend, when Jesus went to the cross for you He held nothing back.  Not His body.  Not His blood.  Not His breath.  He was All In.

Heavenly Father, we love You so much.  Show us areas in our lives where we’re holding back from You.  Show us where we’ve yet to surrender, and help us.  It is a frightening concept, taking up our cross daily to follow You.  Show us what it means, and give us strength and courage.  Thank You for the work on the cross, and we thank You, Jesus, for holding nothing back.  Help us to be all in, just as You were.  It is in your beautiful name that we pray, Amen.

Wednesday, November 2^nd, 2011 started like any other day.

My alarm clock (aka, cell phone) went off right at 6:15am.  After going to bed early the prior night, I bounded out of bed, well rested and ready to go.  I padded downstairs in my slippered feet, breathed in the warm, comforting smell of coffee, poured a cup, and headed up to wake my slumbering daughter.

Stopping in my bedroom first, I glanced toward my bed.  My sweet son was sleeping sideways, curled up into a ball with his pointer finger in his mouth.  Just like when he was a baby, I thought to myself, silently thanking God for my family.

I wrapped my arms around my husband as he shaved.  “Good morning, bebe!” he said cheerfully.  His day was off to a good start, too.

I made my way down the hall, surprised to see that my daughter’s light was already on.  Waking Caitlyn usually takes all three verses of the “wake-up song,” and sometimes I have to sing it twice.

“Hi mommy!” said my big five year old.  “I’m getting myself ready today so you don’t have to.” 

“Well thank you, sweet pea!” I exclaimed, “What a wonderful surprise.”  My daughter smiled, and continued putting together the day’s ensemble; a long-sleeved, light blue shirt with Tinkerbell embossed across the front, and a neon blue tutu skirt.  I’m a mom who picks her battles, so we picked out shoes, brushed teeth, and decided on a high side-ponytail to make the “nightmare from the 80s” look complete.

Mike was preparing breakfast, so I stayed upstairs to make the beds and get ready for the day.  As I applied my make-up, I thought about Bible study, and how excited I was for the day’s lesson.  I said a prayer for our speaker, Lisa Worley, and started toward the kitchen.

After saying our family prayers, the kids and I sent Mike on his way, and started loading up the car.

I breathed a sigh of contentment as Nick and I pulled back into the driveway after fighting the carpool line.  It was a beautiful morning and the forecast promised a beautiful day.  I had an hour to spend in my Bible before leaving for church, and as I poured a second cup of coffee, I contemplated leaving an hour early to pick up my daughter so that Nick and I could run to the park.

James 4:13-15 – Look here, you people who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year.  We will do business there and make a profit.”  How do you know what will happen tomorrow?  For your life is like the morning fog – it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.  What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.”

Running a few minutes late, as is often the case with my time-management-challenged self, I scurried Nick to the car.  As I was grabbing my purse to leave, I heard a sound that sent chills down my spine.

Dropping my purse on the ground, I sprinted toward the front room.  “Jim??  Oh, Jim!” I cried, racing toward our dog.  Jim was sprawled on the study floor, with a puddle of urine spreading slowly beneath him.

 “Jim!  Baby!  No, no, no, no, Jim!!”  I desperately shook my dog, pulling him into my lap.  “Baby, sweetie, what’s wrong?” I cried.  Jim’s eyes were open, looking straight ahead.  “Jim!” I yelled, turning his sweet, doggy face toward mine.  Jim’s eyes focused on me for a second as he exhaled one long, shuddery, breath. 

It was the last breath he ever took.                                          

Isaiah 65:20 – “No longer will babies die when only a few days old.  No longer will adults die before they have lived a full life.  No longer will people be considered old at one hundred!  Only sinners will die that young!”

Hearing the commotion, my four-year-old son came scurrying into the room.  “Mom?” He cried in his low, booming voice that reminds me so much of my husband’s, “Mom?  What’s wrong with Jim?” 

I tried, unsuccessfully, to hold it together for my little boy, but my body was wracked with sobs, and I wasn’t thinking clearly just yet. I grabbed for my phone and called a friend.  I doubt she understood anything I said through my tears, but she raced right over.

Through the help of my sweet friend, husband, and a neighbor, I managed to collect myself enough to function.  Mike called a wonderful company called “All Paws go to Heaven” to pick up Jim, and we arranged for a private cremation so we could keep his remains. 

After the dust had settled and everyone left, I looked at my son.

“Come here, sweetie,” I said through my tears, “Come here to mommy.” I pulled Nick onto my lap and snuggled him close. 

“Are you still crying?” he asked. 

“Yes, baby,” I said, “Mommy is very sad.”

“Did Jim die?”

“Yes he did, sweetie.”

“Is he in heaven?” asked Nick, turning to me with his big, serious, brown eyes.

“I believe he is, my love.”

“Then why are you still crying?”

I smiled and hugged my son even tighter.  “Oh baby, you’re so right.  There is no reason to be sad when we know Jim is in heaven.”  Again Nick turned his brown eyes to mine.  “Is he with Jesus?” he demanded.  “Yes baby, if Jim is in heaven then we can know for certain that he’s with Jesus.”

Satisfied, my son walked off, returning to his cars.  “I’m not sad if Jim is with Jesus,” he declared.

Revelation 21:3-4 – I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, “Look, the home of God is now among His people!  He will live with them, and they will be His people.  God Himself will be with them.  He will remove all of their sorrows, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.  For the old world and its evils are gone forever.”

The faith of a child, I thought to myself, as Nick went about his business.  I’m so thankful for the simple faith of my child.

As I waited for “All Paws go to Heaven” to arrive, I sat down on the ground with my dog.  I felt the comforting Presence of the Holy Spirit reminding me of the Lord’s words: “I, even I, am the One who comforts you (Isaiah 51:12a).”  And more of my favorites: “I have called you by name, you are Mine.  When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you (Isaiah 43:1b-2),”  “He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.  He counts the stars and calls them all by name.  How great is our God!  His power is absolute!  His understanding is beyond comprehension (Psalm 147:3-5).”

The words of the Psalmist wrapped around my heart like a blanket.  “He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.  He counts the stars and calls them all by name.”  Surely the same God that names and numbers the stars loves my dog, too.  “His understanding is beyond comprehension.”  Surely the same Jesus who wept upon the death of his friend, Lazarus, understands my grief, and looks on in tender compassion and empathy.

Once upon a time, I would’ve sought solace in a margarita, or a tub of chocolate-chip-cookie-dough ice cream.  I would’ve called every friend and family member in my contact list, looking for comfort.  Now, only Scripture will suffice.  I let my son have a picnic in the living room, and I curled up with my Bible.

The truth of the matter is this: we live in a fallen world.  The sting of death is here and now.  Children get sick, loved ones die, and plans are thwarted.  But the Apostle Paul encourages us to develop a heavenly perspective.  Focus on the hope we have in Jesus.  Meditate on the words of promise given to us in Scripture.  Understand that no matter what you are going through, no matter where you are, this is not it.  Not by a long shot.  We will be reunited with those who have gone on before us.  We will live and work and eat and play in the Presence of God, the Father, and Jesus, the Son.  A mansion awaits us; we have a seat at the Great Banquet!  We grieve and mourn for a season here on earth.  But we will rejoice forever in heaven, because of the work on the cross.

Psalm 34:1 – I will praise the LORD at all times.  I will constantly speak His praises.  I will boast only in the LORD; let all who are discouraged take heart.  Come, let us tell of the LORD’s greatness; let us exalt His name together.

John 17:3 – “And this is the way to have eternal life – to know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, the one you sent to earth.”

John 14:1-2 – “Don’t be troubled.  You trust God, now trust in me.  In my Father’s house there are many mansions, and I am going to prepare a place for you.  If this were not so, I would tell you plainly.”

Dear Heavenly Father, Paul tells us, in Philippians 4:4, to “Rejoice in the Lord always,” and today we rejoice in You!  You are good Father, all the time.  Thank You for sending Your Son to earth to walk with us, talk to us, heal us, and lead us to You.  Thank You for Jesus’ life, a life with temptation and difficulty, but not sin.  Thank You that You are an empathetic God who stays close to us through the trials.  Help us to know You more and more intimately, so that we can truly praise You through the storms.  Be near to us, God, hear our prayers.  We also ask You to comfort those who have lost loved ones recently, and are dealing with the heartache and loneliness.  Help them to have a heavenly perspective, and to understand that there is more.  We love You so much, God, and we love Your Son and Your Holy Spirit, our Comforter.  It is in the beautiful name of Jesus that we pray.  Amen.

October 25^th of 2011 was a big day in the Carrell house.  My five year old daughter, Caitlyn, got to pick the color of her “permanent” cast.

She recently broke her wrist in two places, and because of the angle of the break, my sweet girl and I traveled to Baylor Surgical Center to have the arm reset.  To let the swelling go down, they splinted her, bandaged her up, and made an appointment to see her later for the hard cast.

Caitlyn, enjoying the attention of the broken wrist, bounded happily into Orthopedic Associates of Flower Mound.  “I want a pink cast!” she happily proclaimed to the woman checking us in.  “Pink?” exclaimed the lady, “what about purple?”  “Pink!” exclaimed my daughter.

This visit was obviously a much lighter experience than our first.  While I waited in the hall, she cheerfully followed the technician into the X-Ray room, no trace of her former trepidation.

“She’s healing nicely,” said Dr. Evaniche, as he confidently strode into the exam room.  “You can see right here where the first break is,” he said, tracing the X-Ray with his pen.  “The second break isn’t really showing up, since it was more of a bend.”

Wincing, I nodded.  “Time for the hard cast?” I asked.                    

“Yes,” he answered.  “This is what we’re going to do.”  Again, he pointed to the X-Ray.  Fascinated by her bones, Caitlyn peered curiously over my shoulder.  “You saw how the bone broke at an angle.”

 I nodded weakly.

“We need to make sure it doesn’t pop back up, so we’re going to wrap it, cast it, and then I’m going to come in and mold it, so that it holds the bone firmly in place.”  Turning to my daughter, he asked, “What color are we looking at, Caitlyn?”

She debated a bit, momentarily tempted by the thought of a purple cast to match her shirt, and then settled on pink.

In the casting room, the nurse slowly unwound the bandages, then carefully snipped through the temporary cast.  She washed my daughter’s arm, and then pulled the pink casting plaster down. 

“Is it going to hurt?” asked Caitlyn, her bravery fading.

The nurse smiled.  “It shouldn’t,” she replied.  “But why don’t you hold your mommy’s hand just in case.

After she had the cast in place, Dr. Evaniche came back into the room.  “Let’s see what we have here.”

The doctor gently took her arm and started pressing on the cast, shaping it into place.  “Owieeee!” cried my unsuspecting daughter.  “That hurts!”

“I know it hurts a little bit,” the doctor replied.  “Here is why I’m doing this.  You remember how you broke your bone, how it looked like part of a triangle?” 

My daughter nodded suspiciously. 

“Well,” continued Dr. Evaniche, “that bone doesn’t want to stay down.  It wants to pop back up.  So my job is to make sure your bone stays put.  That’s why I have to push a little bit, so it can heal.”

“You have to hurt me to make me better?” asked Caitlyn.

“I suppose I do,” said the doctor.  He looked at me, smiling.  “Life lessons in the casting room, right mom?”

Jeremiah 18:1-4 – The LORD gave another message to Jeremiah.  He said, “Go down to the shop where the clay pots and jars are made.  I will speak to you while you are there.”  So I did as He told me and found the potter working at his wheel.  But the jar he was making did not turn out as He had, so the potter squashed the jar into a lump of clay and started again.

Life lessons from the casting room, right mom?

Those words echoed through my mind all day, as I pondered the things in my life that have molded me.

My radio career in the DFW area started at 99.5 the Wolf.  I can remember my first on air shift.  I arrived at the station three hours early to prepare.  I remember the click of the button as I opened the microphone, and how my voice shook a little when I exclaimed, “The NEW 99-5 the Wolf!  I’m Rebecca and that was Shania Twain…”  I remember thinking time had never flown so fast.  I worked the whole shift without sitting down or taking a break.  When I left, I was walking on air.

The next day, Smokey Rivers, the Assistant Program Director, called me, wanting me to come in for a meeting. 

“Sit down,” he said cheerfully, and popped in a tape.  He pressed “play,” and I heard the sound of my voice.  The tips of my ears burned and my neck broke out in a nervous, blotchy heat rash.  My stomach was twisted into a thousand knots, and I could scarcely breathe.  Every word I’d uttered made me cringe.  I sounded awful.

My boss let me squirm for a good five minutes before turning off the tape player.  “How do you think you did?” He asked.  “Well,” I gulped, “I suppose the more important question is ‘how do you think I did?’”  He looked me square in the eyes and said, “You were over-confident.  You talked too much and you said your name too much.  Your voice went up about an octave every time you opened the mic.  Don’t make silly transitions, they don’t add anything, and you don’t need them.” 

The air-check, or as I like to call it, torture session, went on for a few more minutes.  I tried as best I could to dissolve into the chair, to no avail.  Finally, to wrap things up, he said the words that I’ll never forget: “I’ve got you on the schedule for the overnight Friday, Saturday, and Sunday shifts.  We’ll air-check after each one.”

Stunned by the fact that I hadn’t been fired on the spot, I left.  All week long I listened carefully to all the other DJ’s.  I made notes on my observations.  The next time I went into work I tried to apply everything he said.  Three days later, I sat down hesitantly with my tapes.

He popped the tape player on, listened for a few minutes, and smiled.  “That’s more like it,” he said.  “I knew you had potential.”

The air-check sessions went on for a few more weeks, growing less and less painful and more and more instructional.  Then one day I found a card in my box before I went into the studio.  “Great job!” it read.  “You’ve been working hard and it really shows.”

1 Corinthians 3:13-14 – But there is going to come a time of testing at the judgment day to see what kind of work each builder has done.  Everyone’s work will be put through the fire to see whether or not it keeps its value.  If the work survives the fire, that builder will see a reward.

That was the start of a 13 year (and growing) career in radio.  Was it humbling, even painful at times?  More than you can imagine.  Would I change any of it?  No.  I have learned a few things along the way.  One – they call them growing pains for a reason.  Two – although compliments are encouraging, you don’t grow from praise.  You simply become complacent.  And three – God will never stop refining us; never stop pruning us.  He loves us too much, and just as Smokey Rivers saw potential in me, God sees glory in you.  He will do anything and everything it takes, short of forcing us, to make us over into the very image of His Son, Jesus Christ.

2 Corinthians 3:18b – And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like Him and reflect His glory even more.

Life lessons in the casting room, right mom?

Dear Heavenly Father, we love You so much, and we thank You for Your Word, the Bible.  We thank You for the work that You continue to do in us, even though it is painful at times.  God, we understand that to grow, we need pruning, and to shine, we need refining.  Prune us even more, and refine us all the more!  We thank You for being a tender, loving, and patient God, slow to anger and quick to save.  God, please show us the areas in which we need growth.  Help us to become more like Your Son.  Help us to be patient and loving with others.  Help us to be Christ to those in our circle of influence.  We praise You.  We love You; help us to love You more, with our whole hearts and whole minds.  It’s in the beautiful name of Jesus that we pray.  Amen.

Now that my daughter, Caitlyn, is in Kindergarten, my son and I have quite a bit of what we like to call “Mommy – Nicky time.”  When he’s not in preschool, we eat lunch together, go on walks, play at the park, and do all sorts of things, just the two of us.  Running errands with both kids quickly becomes a chore, but when it’s one-on-one, it’s a delight.

Nick’s favorite errand is our monthly jaunt to the child’s consignment store, Kid-to-Kid.  The reason?  Aside from the little play area inside, it’s the child-sized entrance, right next to the main door, or as Nick calls it, the pink door.

Kid-to-Kid in Highland Village is located next to the Wal-Mart market, where we do most of our grocery shopping.  Last week, while doing our food run, I decided to take Nick into Kid-to-Kid to see if we could find a good deal on a Halloween costume.  Nick wants to be either Superman or Spiderman, either one will do.

Since we had parked at Wal-Mart, we had to walk a ways to get to the consignment store.  Nick, eager to go through the child’s entrance, was pulling on my hand.

“Mom, I don’t see the pink door!” he cried.

“Nick, it’s there.  We just need to go around the corner past those cars.”

“But mo-om, I don’t see it!”

“Nick, I promise it’s there.  I can see it.  We just need to keep walking.”

At this point, my son started to cry.  “It’s not there!  I can’t see it, and it’s not there!”

Gently, I scooped him up into my arms so he could see over the cars.  “There it is, honey, you see it?”  Satisfied, Nick squirmed away and raced off toward the pink door.

Psalm 139:3 – You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest.  Every moment you know where I am.

If we were all perfectly honest with ourselves, we’d admit that, at times, we share my son’s tendency to “believe it when we see it.”  However, that is not the way God’s economy works.  We are to walk by faith.  In God’s economy, we believe, and then we see.

One of the best illustrations of this is found in the story of the ten lepers:

Luke 17:11-14 – As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, He reached the border between Galilee and Samaria.  As He entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!”

He looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.”  And as they went, their leprosy disappeared.

As they went, they were healed.  Leprosy, in ancient times, was a highly contagious, disfiguring disease.  Individuals with leprosy were exiled from their city, and made to live outside the gates.  They had to announce their condition to anyone who approached them, yelling, “Unclean!  Unclean!”  Sometimes, though, the leprosy went into remission.  If this was the case, the individual would have to show him or herself to a priest to be declared “clean.”  Notice that, in this situation, the lepers ran off toward the priest before they had been healed.  They responded in faith, and they were healed on the way.

More often than not, God will call us to step out in faith before we see the evidence of His work. 

When Mike and I made the decision that it was time for me to leave the Dorsey Gang on 96.3 KSCS, we had to do just that very thing.  We weren’t sure how easy it would be to just give up my salary.  But we felt the Presence of the Holy Spirit, and heard Him whisper that He would provide for our every need.  And we have not gone without a single necessity.

It is my heart’s desire to travel and speak to women’s ministries, telling them about the magnificent work that Christ has done in my life, and encouraging them to let their roots reach down deep into the Holy Spirit, building their lives and their identities on Jesus.  When people ask me to speak, the usual follow-up question is “what is your fee?”  God, again, has pressed it upon Mike and me to let Him worry about the money.  You provide the message, and I’ll provide for you.  Again, Mike and I have been called to step out in faith, and minister at no charge.

After a life of calling myself a Christian, I believe I have been a Christ-follower for the past few years.  And as I have ruthlessly sought after Jesus, I can tell you this: His ways seldom make sense.  God spoke to the prophet Isaiah, and said, “My thoughts are completely different than yours, and my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.  For just at the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts higher than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9).”

God called Abram (later Abraham) to leave his land and become a nation.  God called Moses to lead His people, Israel, through the Red Sea.  God called David, a shepherd boy, to be the nation’s mightiest king.  God called Mary, a poor peasant girl, to bear and raise our Savior.  God called Peter, a whiney, stubborn fisherman, to be filled with the fire of the Holy Spirit, preach the very first sermon given by a disciple (Acts 2:14-42) and convert thousands in a single morning.  God called Saul, fanatical Pharisee and slayer of Christians, to evangelize all over the known world, and author over half of the New Testament.

What is He calling you to do? 

Romans 12:6-8 – God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well.  So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out when you have faith that God is speaking through you.  If your gift is that of serving others, serve them well.  If you are a teacher, do a good job of teaching.  If your gift is to encourage others, do it!  If you have money, share it generously.  If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously.  And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

If you are a follower of Christ, you have a call on your life.  God has purposed you for something.  You were created to bear good fruit.  And God has fully equipped you for His purposes.  Don’t live your life with a worldly perspective.  You are called for more than simply filling up your storehouses and providing for yourself and your family.  Live with a heavenly perspective.  Answer the call, no matter how unconventional it may seem.  Just like my son and the pink door, we cannot see the big picture.  But God can.  To live with a heavenly perspective means to walk by faith, trusting that God can see over the cars and around the corner, and that His ways are perfect.  His plan is good.  And His love for you is everlasting.

What is He calling you to do?

Dear Heavenly Father, we love You so much, and we thank You for sending us Your Son.  You are not a far-away God, watching from a distance.  You sent Jesus to walk with us and the Holy Spirit to dwell within us.  You delight in the details of our lives, and You are faithful to guide our every step.  Help us to trust You when the pathway looks treacherous.  Help us to step out in faith and do what You ask us to do.  Convict us to seek You more, through the Bible and through prayer.  Help us to study You, so that we know Your character and can discern your voice.  Help us to be better stewards of our time, talents, and finances.  Give us a heavenly perspective, God.  Remind us that our life on earth is but a breath, yet we will spend all of eternity with You.  Let expanding Your Kingdom on earth be our primary concern, and free us from the worries of this life.  We love You God, but we want to love You more.  We trust You; help us to trust You more.  It is in the beautiful name of Jesus Christ that we pray. Amen.