Today’s Daily Bread ~ My Bad.

1 John 1:9 – But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.

About a month ago I got an e-mail from an acquaintance, requesting twenty or thirty minutes of my time.  “Sure,” I wrote back, “What’s up?”  The person wouldn’t say.  This was perplexing to me, first of all, because I was curious.  Secondly, I wasn’t sure where to rank this on my priority list.  I’m like every other working mother in America.  I have a husband and two small children, a job that pays the bills (radio), a job that feeds me spiritually (Love Serve Shine), and volunteer duties at church.  I like to squeeze time in for friends whenever possible, and somewhere in there I also have to maintain both a house (cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping) and my sanity (rarely happens).  When someone asks me for twenty or thirty minutes of my time, I have to pick a category that can afford to lose those precious minutes.

I decided to give the individual a call and see if this could be taken care of over the phone. 

“Not really,” he said.  “Just let me know when you have time and I’ll make it work on my end.”

Feeling a tad disgruntled and even more curious, I told him I’d look at my calendar and get back to him.

We set up a time, and about a week later I sat, facing him, in his office.  I’ll spare you the details of the conversation, but I will tell you this: by the time I left, I wasn’t sure what to make of things.  He had sat there calmly, looked me square in the eye, and insulted me (at least it felt like it).  I knew, or at least chose to think, that his intentions were mostly good.  But a part of me questioned his motives, and all of me felt as though I had been chastised by my teacher.

I prayed on my way home, asking the Lord to deflect the offending words, and to keep them from taking root in my spirit.  I asked that God would let me look on this person with mercy, love and compassion, that I could see him through His eyes.  I asked the Holy Spirit for discernment so I could read between the lines of what he was saying, and what he was trying to accomplish.  Then I asked God to just let me forget about it and to write Colossians 3:2 on my heart – Let heaven fill your thoughts.  Do not think only about things down here on earth. 

I had a hunch that, if I really wanted God handle it, then I needed to let go of it and do just that.  Pray about it, then trust Him with it and forget about it.

That’s what I should’ve done.

As soon as my husband got home, I gave him the rundown.  Bad idea.  My husband is a very sweet, loving, protective man when it comes to me and the kids.  Now I had given him a reason not to like this person (whom we both see on a moderate basis).  I felt a tinge of conviction and told myself I was done talking about it.

The next day, I had a girlfriend over for coffee.  Even though I had a sense that the Holy Spirit didn’t want me to, I told her the whole thing.  Bad idea.  Now I’d given her an unfair impression of someone she didn’t know very well and also subjected her to my gossip.

Oh, how I wish I could tell you I stopped there.

A few days later I called a friend of mine who also knows this person.  I should probably add (even though I don’t want to) that my friend also has had a run in or two with this person.  We chatted casually, and then I let her rip. 

The second I hung up the phone the Holy Spirit let me have it.  He showed me that this wasn’t about the offending party at all.  This was about me…and my pride.  Yes, this person said something he could’ve omitted from the conversation, but that was the extent of it.  The guilty party here was me.

The Holy Spirit led me to Galatians 1:10, where Paul says, “Obviously, I’m not trying to be a people pleaser!  No, I am trying to please God.  If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.”  Child, why does it matter what this person thinks of you?  Seek my approval above everyone’s.

Next, to Proverbs 18:8 – What dainty morsels rumors are – but they sink deep into one’s heart.  Try as we might, we can’t unsay our words.  When we talk about people behind their back, even when it’s not a rumor, we are planting seeds in the hearts of others.  Because of my words, others have formed an opinion about this person.

Then to Proverbs 20:19 – A gossip tells secrets, so don’t hang around with someone who talks too much.  Oh, ouch.  I actually bickered with the Lord over this:  “But God, it wasn’t a secret!  He flat out insulted me!  I’m not spreading rumors, this happened and it hurt my feelings!”  Was the conversation not in confidence?  And if he hurt your feelings, why didn’t you confront him on that?  “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the fault (Matthew 18:15a).”  Ok.  You’re right.  And I’m sorry.

Take a look at today’s Scripture: But if we confess our sins to Him, He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.  The first thing God revealed to me was how quickly my pride had reared its ugly head.  He tells us in Jeremiah 17:7, “Blessed are those who trust in the LORD, have made the LORD their hope and confidence.”  How quickly my confidence cracked under someone’s scrutinizing stare.  God reminds us that He and He alone is to be the source of our hope and our confidence.

I was instantly remorseful and repentant, and ashamed of my behavior.  But God is faithful and just to forgive us when we come to Him with humble hearts.  He led me back to 1 John 1:9, this time causing me to dwell on the second half of the verse:  and to cleanse us from every wrong.  This was the golden nugget He most wanted me to see.

To cleanse us from every wrong.  The word every in the original Greek means this: all (731), all the things (7), all…things (1), all kinds (1), all men (14), all people (4), all respects (3), all things (126), any at all (1), anyone (3), anything (3), entire (4), every (128), every form (1), every kind (9), every respect (1), every way (2), everyone (71), everyone’s (1), whole (18). 

Friends, I believe that God is telling us this:  When we come before Him with a humble heart, seeking to confess, repent, and submit to Him, he not only cleanses us from every wrong we’ve done, He cleanses us from every wrong done to us.

Without a shadow of a doubt my reaction was wrong.  It was also natural.  When we feel that someone has hurt us (whether real or perceived), we’re inclined to hurt back, be it passively or aggressively.  But Jesus came to show us a better way.  “But I say, love your enemies!  Pray for those who persecute you!  In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in Heaven (Matthew 5:44).”  And God, in His unfathomable mercy and grace, not only forgives us and cleanses us from the stain of our own sin, He wipes away the stains left by those who sin against us.

Dear Heavenly Father, we love You so much.  We ask You to guard our tongues, Lord, and let our thoughts and our words be pleasing to You.  We ask that You forgive our pride when it rises up.  We ask that You would take away the desire to strike back.  Help us to be humble and compassionate.  Give us discernment and understanding.  Give us wisdom and knowledge.  Help us always to remember that Your way is the better way, the only way.  Help us to see those around us as You see them; precious children of Yours, and brothers and sisters of Christ.  Help us to love them like You do, and help us to shine Your light for all the world to see.  We love You, Lord, and we ask these things in the beautiful name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.  Amen.