Today’s Daily Bread ~ My Pride

Psalm 139:23-24 – Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.  Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path to everlasting life.

I have a confession to make today.  I struggle with pride more than anything else.  Sometimes I feel like every time I turn around, I’m confessing pride.  I’ve asked God to remove it and violently murder it so it will never come back, but it always does. 

I’m so uncomfortable admitting it, but I believe that I’m called to a life of transparency.  I struggle with pride every time I see success in my life.  In fact, there it is again – “my life.”  It’s not my life, it’s the life God has entrusted to me so that I might fulfill the job He’s given me to do and bring glory to Him. 

I still pray that God would complete remove my ego, but I’ve added something to that prayer.  Convict me instantly every time I start to feel pride rise up in me.  Convict me instantly, so I can confess, repent, and once again enjoy intimate fellowship with You.

Pride is such a sneaky sin.  I rarely recognize it right away, and have had friends gently point it out in me more than once.  Here are just a few ways pride has manifested itself in me:

• Not wanting to submit to authority because I feel my way is the better way.  Even if it is (and it probably isn’t), the Lord absolutely commands us to submit to authority unless it conflicts with His laws.
• Not responding well to constructive criticism.
• Getting defensive when I’m told that I’m wrong.
• Feeling slighted when something I’ve worked hard on isn’t recognized.
• Feeling like something I’ve worked on is mine – it’s not mine.  Everything in our lives has been entrusted to us by God to give glory to Him.
• Wanting to walk away from something when someone does a better job than I do.  That is a huge example of pride.  The ultimate goal for all of us should be that God’s glory be made known – by any and every means possible.

This morning, during my prayer/journal time with God, He pointed something out to me that will (hopefully) forever change the way I view confession.  I was wondering why pride can be so difficult to recognize and repent of.  And I believe He told me why.

One of the enemy’s most effective means of getting to us is by provoking pride.  He whispers to us, poking at our tendency toward entitlement.  Why?  Because nothing will kill a ministry faster than an elevated sense of self.  Nothing binds us tighter, rendering us useless to the Kingdom of Heaven, than our own egos.

We can be moving along, glorifying God in everything we do, and the second we start to think that we are the ones doing great things, we lose effectiveness.  We are no longer capable of making decisions that would best glorify Jesus.  Instead, we start to glorify ourselves.

For myself, I need to pray constantly that I do things for God’s approval, not yours.  And that is a very difficult thing to do.  People don’t necessarily want the truth.  They want to hear whatever message it is that makes them feel okay about their sinful lifestyle.  And there are many, many pastors that will gladly give it to them, if it means increasing their numbers.

The bible couldn’t be more politically incorrect.  Jesus is the most radical man to ever walk the face of the earth.  Everything He encourages us to do is counter-intuitive.  Love our enemies.  Turn the other cheek.  Leave the comforts of the world behind to take up our cross and follow Him, no matter the cost.  And as contrary as that may look, it is the only way to peace, contentment, and true joy as opposed to momentary happiness.

Our God is a just God, and He works for His glory and our ultimate good in everything He does.  Why does He want us to confess?  Because confession and true repentance defeat the enemy every time.  Confession is our ace in the hole.  Our trump card.  Satan has no power over us when we renounce sin, shame, pride, arrogance and ego.  Those sins are so hard to confess because he works furiously to stoke those fires.  But when we let the Word of God wash over us and slice through those chains, we are freed once again for joyful obedience.  When we humble ourselves before the Lord, He washes us clean, and declares us righteous in His sight (James 4:7. Romans 3:24).

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to follow King David’s example in Psalm 139, and begin our prayer time by asking you to search out any hidden sins that could be hindering us.  Break those chains for us, God.  Help us to lay our pride and our egos at the foot of the cross.  Please help us to fix our eyes on things of Heaven, not of this world.  Please help us to seek your approval only, and numb us to the approval of man.  Help us to live lives that glorify You and only You, God.  May everything we do honor You.  We love You so much, Father, and we ask these things in the glorious name of Your Son, our Savior, Lord Jesus Christ.  Amen.