Psalm 16:11 – You will show me the path of life: in Your Presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand there are pleasures forever more.
I gave my informal resignation on October 8th of 2010. January 4th, 2011 was my last day.
Allow me to back up a bit.
I believe my faith in Jesus is a gift. I’ve had almost a feisty faith my entire life, and there is little I love to do more than encourage others (read “argue in favor of”) in the Lord’s love for us. Even in my darkest days, and some have been almost pitch black, I knew God was with me. I have never doubted His love for me.
In 1998, when I was trying to find a job in radio, I had a fleeting thought. “If this doesn’t work out,” I said to myself, “I’ll try to find a job in a church somewhere. I could even go to seminary.”
Shortly after, I was hired on at 570 KLIF, then 99.5 KPLX. Thoughts of furthering my education faded, but my love for the Lord never did. I considered my job a blessing; a gift, and found myself crediting God on air without even really thinking about it.
About a year later, an endorsement deal came down the pipe, and I was able to have Lasik surgery for free. I hadn’t been to church in a long, long time, but went with my parents so I could thank God properly for my sight. I cried throughout the whole service. I knew I’d been away too long.
Then a co-worker of mine invited me to her church. I’d been raised in the Episcopalian denomination: sit down, stand up, sing this, read that. When I walked into this building that looked more like a high school than a church, I hardly knew what to make of it. Instead of hymns, a band took the stage. People were raising their arms and clapping their hands. The pastor came out next, dressed in jeans, an Ed Hardy shirt, sporting spikey, highlighted hair. I was home.
Like a grain of sand in an oyster, a new idea started to roll around in my head. “How awesome would it be to be a part of a creative worship team like that? If I don’t make it long term in radio, that’s what I’ll try to do.”
A year or so later the Dorsey Gang called, and that’s where I spent the next decade of my life.
People ask me all the time how I put up with Terry and Hawkeye. Fair question: the three of us love nothing better than to heave one another cheerfully under the bus. But the truth of the matter is this: you would be hard pressed to find two better people in radio.
Terry has a heart the size of Texas. He is so humble – sometimes I think he has no idea that he’s one of the most successful radio hosts in the US. He’s been in DFW morning radio for 28 years and counting. Most of that time has been spent in the top three spots in the ratings. As funny as he is on the air – he’s even funnier off. I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried. And got paid to do it.
Not many people know Hawkeye’s off-air side. This man is as loyal as the day is long. He has donated countless hours to countless causes. He’s quietly and anonymously given money to plant trees in Fort Worth. He spent a night at a homeless shelter in Dallas to bring about awareness. He signed up to run a 5K race with all proceeds going to the Bridge, and spent weeks training with a group of its tenants. He keeps in touch with several of them today, and I recently had the pleasure of watching his excitement as he found out one of them had moved out of the Bridge, into his own apartment. And that’s merely the tip of the iceberg.
They never stifled my faith; they encouraged me to be myself. They patiently helped me grow into a seasoned broadcaster. They saw me through breakups, shared my excitement through my engagement, and watched me get married. They saw the birth of both my children (figuratively, not literally), and even congratulated and encouraged me again when I told them about the new direction I was taking.
About three years ago I began to feel restless, like there was something I was supposed to be doing. Slowly, the Lord unveiled a piece of His plan for my life. “Go,” He whispered, “and don’t be afraid. Don’t worry about the money. I will provide for your every need.”
So here I am. I’m not really sure where Jesus and I are headed. But I know He’s holding me tightly by the hand. I know that I can claim Psalm 139:1-6 as a promise: Oh LORD, You have examined my heart, and know everything about me. You know when I sit down and stand up. You know my every thought when far away. You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment You know where I am. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. You both precede me and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know.
For the time being, I’ve accepted a part time position at my church as the worship coordinator, where I will be directing the services, and conceptualizing sermon series ideas. I’ve received a direct Word to continue with “Love. Serve. Shine.” I have a passion to speak and minister to women’s groups, and hope that God’s plan for me includes more of that. I’ve been accepted to Dallas Theological Seminary, and, God willing will start classes in the summer. But most importantly, I’ll get to be the wife my husband deserves, and the mom my children need. I’ll get to be a part of the morning routine for the first time in my kids’ lives. I’ll take them to school and pick them up. I’ll get to know the mothers of their classmates. I’ll host play-dates and be a room mom. I’ll join the PTA, and I’ll be the loudest fan at whatever activities my children choose to participate in. I’ll stay up late(r) with my husband, and keep a clean(er) house. I will chase Jesus with all my heart and soul, and follow where the Spirit leads. I will sacrifice what He tells me to. I will work ruthlessly to bring the Good News to the lost, and shine His light wherever I go. I will pray every day that God would touch my heart that I may love as He loves, touch my eyes that I might see Him everywhere I look, and touch my hands that I would joyfully serve.
Dear Heavenly Father, how we love You! As we go through this day, please let us feel Your Presence with us. Please give us ears to hear your whispers. Please give us courage to follow where You lead. Please break our ties to the world and material things that hold no value in Your eyes. Instead, help us to store up treasures in Heaven. God, please give us wisdom, discernment, grace, mercy, patience and self-control. Give us strength, courage, and a spirit of boldness to proclaim Your Word. Give us hearts to love like You love, eyes to see like You see, and hands to serve. We ask these things with a thankful heart and victorious attitude, as we ask them in the blessed, beautiful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.