Today’s Daily Bread ~ Relevant?

Romans 12:2 – Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.  Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is.

Mike and I decided together, back in October of 2010, that it was time for me to leave radio and be home with the family.  The initial idea was to spend more quality time with each other, be more present to our children, and eliminate the “hurry” from our lives.  We wanted to slow down and savor every moment of life, instead of constantly rushing from one thing to the next.  I was also looking forward to spending more time in the Scriptures, journaling my “musings,” and working on LSS.

An interesting thing started to happen as my last day grew closer.  I started filling my calendar with more and more things, taking on more and more responsibilities at various.  I contacted Dallas Theological Seminary to find out when I could start officially enrolling in classes for the summer semester.  On my last day at KSCS, I left the office, met a friend for lunch, and then headed to church to train for my new position.

At the end of the week I was tired, spent, and overwhelmed.  “Interesting,” whispered the Holy Spirit.  “Why did you leave the Dorsey Gang again?” 

“To follow You,” I stated, rather rudely.

“Mm hmm,” He replied.  “And why else?”

Sigh.  “Because I was tired of being tired, spent and overwhelmed.” I said quietly, “And I was worried about the effects it could have on my marriage and family.”

That’s just a snippet of our conversation.  It went on for a while, with a rather unpleasant revelation.

“You’re afraid you won’t be relevant anymore, child.  You’ve agreed to take a leap, but you’re making back-up plans. You’re opening doors that I didn’t purpose you to open.  You’re busying yourself with tasks I didn’t mean for you to take.  You’re not taking a leap of leap of faith when you stretch out safety nets beneath you.”

He pressed that upon me Friday.  I slept fitfully all night, and when I finally dragged myself out of bed the next morning, I had a heavy heart.  God had told me specifically to fast and pray on two separate occasions before I agreed to add a single thing to my schedule.  I politely declined both times.

A woman at my church, whom I respect and admire, spent nearly 20 years in television before leaving to attend seminary.  She warned me to root myself firmly in Christ.  “You’ve been a personality in this market for a long time,” she said.  “Don’t be surprised if you find yourself having a bit of an identity crisis, or going through a period of mourning.”

She affirmed what the Holy Spirit had been whispering to me over the last three years or so.  “Do not identify yourself with your job.  You are a Christian, then a wife, then a mother, then a friend, then a member of your church…that happens to work at a radio station.”  

By refusing to sincerely seek God’s counsel before adding to my agenda, I was blocking the blessings He had in store for me.  God alone knows the plans He has for each us (Jeremiah 29:11).  God alone knows the path stretched out in front of us.  He tells us when to go and when to rest.  He follows us, walks beside us and goes before us.  He puts His words in our mouths and tells us when to speak.  He places His hand on our heads to bless us (Psalm 139:1-6).  When we attempt to go it alone, or do it our way, we look like a child that doesn’t want to hold her father’s hand.  We squirm away, and then cry when everything goes wrong.

God prompted me to ask myself some soul-searching questions.  When everything is stripped away, who am I?  When I’m no longer a member of the Dorsey Gang, who am I?  When I no longer sing on the praise team, if something happens to my husband, when the children grow up and leave the home, who am I?  “Mine,” whispers our Father.  “You are mine, and that alone makes you relevant.”

Romans 8:38-39 – And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from His love.  Death can’t, and life can’t.  The angels can’t, and the demons can’t.  Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away.  Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Dear Heavenly Father, we just love You so much, and we humbly come before You in thanks and praise.  How is it You love us so much?  No matter how many times we pull away from You, You welcome us back with joy and celebration.  No matter how many times we act out against You, You forgive us and remind us that we are Yours.  You have chosen us as Your own, Father, and we will never be able to fully understand the depth, height, width and breadth of Your love for us.  God, we pray that we would let that be our identity.  May we never seek relevance outside of You.  May we never identify ourselves with anything else; not money, success, power, popularity, vocation, or roles in or outside of the home.  You are the only thing we are rooted in that won’t pass away.  To build our identity on anything else is to build our lives on a foundation of sand.  You are the rock, and it’s in You alone that we place our trust.  Make us sincere about that, Lord!  We ask these things in the beautiful name of Jesus Christ, and we ask in confidence, knowing that we are praying Your will for us.  We love You, Father.  Amen.