Today’s Daily Bread ~ Special Needs

John 17:22-23 – “I have given them the glory You gave me, so that they may be one, as we are – I in them and You in me, all being perfected into one, just as You and I are one, Father – that just as You are in me and I am in You, so they will be in us, and the world will believe You sent me.

My sweet son, Nicholas, had a rough go as a baby.  He was unusually fussy, and typically the only thing that would calm him down was the Baby Bjorn (or as I liked to call it, the “sanity keeper”).

At six months, he came down with a terrible case of RSV (baby flu).  He was sick for eight or ten weeks, and after that, we started to notice something troubling.  Nick wasn’t meeting his mile-markers.  He never showed interest in holding his bottle.  He didn’t grasp for things like most babies did.  He didn’t sit up until almost twelve months of age.  He never crawled, opting instead for the “military scooch.” 

At our pediatrician’s recommendation, we enrolled him in the state-run Early Childhood Intervention program.  An occupational therapist would come to our house and show us different kinds of exercises and activities for Nick to work on.  At 18 months, they determined he was mostly caught up, and our baby became an ECI graduate.

But Nick continued to fuss for seemingly no reason.  We started calling him “Nicky Noodle,” because he always wanted to be carried, but wouldn’t grab on with his arms or legs.  So I just carted around his dead weight everywhere we went.

Mike and I just thought he was stubborn.  He didn’t want to do any of the things our daughter had insisted on doing herself.  Caitlyn wasn’t even nine months old before she was grabbing her little baby spoon and getting carrots everywhere but her mouth.  Nick wouldn’t eat solid food or feed himself until he was about 2 ½.

He started preschool in the fall of 2010.  One month in, his teacher asked me to stay a few extra minutes to discuss something.  “He seems to have some issues with boundaries,” she said, “and we can’t get him to sit in a circle.”  I raised a brow.  “Is that unusual for a three year old boy?” I asked.  “It can be indicative of some things,” she kindly replied.  “We’re going to keep a close eye on him and we’ll let you know how he progresses.”

I wasn’t sure of what to make of that.  Sure, he was stubborn.  Sure, he couldn’t sit still to read a book or hear a lesson.  But he’s three.  And a boy.  And everyone says that boys and girls just develop differently.

At his conference, his sweet teacher sat me down and showed me the tests they run to measure cognitive, fine motor and gross motor skill development. 

“Cognitively, he’s very smart,” she said.  “And he can copy a pattern with blocks, and he’s wonderful with puzzles.” 

I could feel a “but” coming on.  “And?” I prompted.

“Well,” she started, pulling out another sheet of paper, “we ask them to draw a picture of a person.  At this age, they can typically make a stick person with arms and legs.”  She showed me Nick’s drawing.  Several lines and scribbles.  “He doesn’t hold the marker correctly.  And you can see here that he can’t copy pictures of shapes, trace a line or connect the dots.”

I nodded.  “Okay,” I said.  “What does this mean?”  She handed me a pamphlet, explaining that when children are as behind as Nick is, it’s not alarming, but it should be addressed.  She recommended we take Nick to a pediatric rehabilitation facility that specializes in occupational and play therapy for an assessment.

I agreed to make an appointment.  Two weeks later, I sat down to read his fully-detailed, eleven page report.  Nick has a sensory integration disorder. 

He’s hypersensitive to sound, which makes it difficult for him to concentrate.  He has boundary issues – his “personal space bubble” is larger than most, yet he has no concept of someone else’s.  The list is long, and I don’t have a strong enough grasp of it yet to rattle the whole thing off.  Their recommended treatment plan is therapy twice a week for a year, then reassess. 

My sweet baby.  I look at him and my heart aches.  I hesitate to schedule dates with kids his age, because I worry he’ll play too aggressively.  I find myself apologizing for his behavior often, because people don’t understand that when he pushes on things, and yells phrases over and over, he’s just trying to figure out his space and process information.  He doesn’t want other people to touch him, yet he clings to me like a drowning man to a life raft.

Psalm 139:14 – I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Here is what I do know, and what I stand on.  Nick is fearfully and wonderfully made.  God made Nick exactly the way he is.  Every hair on his head is counted.  God knew Nicholas James Carrell before He created the Universe.  And I praise God for him.

Lamentations 3:22-24 – The unfailing love of the LORD never ends!  By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.  Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day.  I say to myself, “The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!”

God loves my son with an everlasting, unfailing love.  And even as I type, I know that God is drawing my sweet boy to Himself.  And by the Lord’s mercies, I know that Mike and I will not run out of patience.  We will do whatever is necessary to help him.  God will continue to strengthen us to work with him diligently.

Romans 8:28-29 – And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.  For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters.

God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him.  All things.  And I praise God that He has trusted me with my sweet Nick, knowing that my son will see Christ in me.  And God will glorify Himself through this.  He will make His Presence known, and we will see Him working as He heals my son.  I praise God that He made Nick the way He did.  Although I desire the easiest path for my children, we are only strengthened when we are climbing out of valleys and over mountains.  I praise God that He is giving us another opportunity to cling to His hand and trust Him to carry us.

God is the calm in the storm.  He is our light through the valley.  Through Christ, all things are possible.  His strength is made perfect in our weakness.  Glorify Yourself, O God.

Dear Heavenly Father, we all face storms.  Help us to see them as opportunities to grow in our relationship with You.  O Lord, that we would not fear adversity, but see it as a chance to witness Your glory.  Make Yourself known to us, Father.  Be near.  Let us cherish every opportunity to grow our faith.  Move in our lives.  Help us to seek You in all things.  Help us to cling to You.  Prune us and refine us.  Where the world sees a challenge, allow us to see a chance to watch You work.  When we can adapt this attitude, the enemy has no hold over us.  Strengthen us, God.  Help us encourage our brothers and sisters that are going through trials.  Shine through us, and lead us to people who need You.  Use us.  Touch our hearts, that we would love as You love.  Touch our ears, that we would hear Your voice.  Touch our hands and feet, that we might be quick to serve.  Fill us with compassion and kindness.  God, we ask these things in the precious, holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.  Amen.